wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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