he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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