I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
