i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The feeling are messing with the penis
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
