i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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