It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
