may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize