fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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