He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
