He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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