I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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