They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
