I puked a lego.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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