So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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