Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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