so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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