Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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