Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
