Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
