my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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