yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
