All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
