hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
