dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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