after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
