I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
