I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
