What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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