Porn is love you can see.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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