the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He has the fingertips of a God
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