im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
