i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
