you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
