Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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