Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
