they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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