Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
