Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
