We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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