Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize