508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just want nice things and good sex
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
