Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize