did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
