I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
