Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This is classic penis vs brain.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
