I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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