Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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