Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
