My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize