I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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