So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
