I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
