): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
