I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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