I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
