So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
