I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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