You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I want is dick and wine.
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