you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
