Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
