Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
