Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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