U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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